


Every Creak on the Stair

by AmberBrown



Series: Earning Their Keep [15]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 02:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14250894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberBrown/pseuds/AmberBrown
Summary: Aramis still has some recovering to do after his ordeal in the Chatelet. D’Artagnan does not realise how fragile his lover still is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct follow-on to ‘Breaking Point.’ If you have not read that it would probably help if you did.   
> But, don’t go away if you don’t want to read it, very briefly...Aramis was arrested for sodomy and tortured/interrogated for several days before the others got him back. This story follows on from the end of his physical recovery.   
> Aramis and d’Artagnan are in an established relationship.

Aramis had never kept his weapons belt close to the bed before. He had always hung it up behind the door to his rooms. D’Artagnan had noticed his lover quietly lay the weapons down on a chair near the bed. Within reach. D’Artagnan’s own weapons were on the hook behind the door. But Aramis could now reach his gun from the bed. 

It had been several weeks since Treville and Athos had brought his lover back from the Chatelet, back from the hell he had endured for days. Endured to save, not only himself, but his lover as well. D’Artagnan would never be able to thank Aramis enough for what he had done. His lover could have confessed and given him up. D’Artagnan would have become a wanted man, unable to remain a Musketeer, unable to continue to live in Paris. And Aramis would have been dead. Executed. Gone.

But Aramis had held out, he had been injured, he had been tortured, beaten, hurt. But he had not confessed.

Once they had got him back it had taken him a while to recover, both physically and mentally. He had suffered mood swings, one minute he was fine and positive and determined to put the incident behind him. The next minute he would simply sit and stare, not talk for hours on end. They had been worried. But slowly the man had got better. 

Treville had allowed him back on light duties. Not allowing him out of the garrison alone to start with. They were all a little wary of the Red Guard. The chances of the Cardinals men wanting to avenge the perceived embarrassment their leader had suffered was high. It had been noted that there was a permanent presence of Red Guard outside the garrison since Aramis’ release. The Cardinal probably still suspected Aramis of the crime he had been accused of. 

The need to protect Aramis and not leave him open to further suspicion had meant that d’Artagnan had to be extremely careful when he visited his lover. Aramis had been on edge the first time d’Artagnan had stayed the night. D’Artagnan had let it pass. His lover had been arrested in his rooms, it was understandable. 

But now, d’Artagnan was finding the continued reluctance of his lover to settle a little trying. They had shared a bed, several times since Aramis had been released from the infirmary. But they had done nothing more than lay together. 

D’Artagnan was sure Aramis was not sleeping well. Each morning d’Artagnan had woken alone. The empty space on the bed beside him cold. He did not know how early Aramis was rising, but he was always dressed and ready to leave when d’Artagnan woke. 

They had talked, Aramis had told him all that he could remember of the interrogation. D’Artagnan knew that the conversations had helped Aramis a lot. They had found over the months they had been together that keeping things to themselves never ended well. One or other of them would eventually suffer for not being open about what was affecting them. 

D’Artagnan was sure that Aramis was not hiding anything from him. His lover just seemed reluctant to resume their relationship, to carry on as if nothing had happened. But d’Artagnan was finding it difficult, he wanted to be with Aramis.

He did not know what he could do to help Aramis; when the man insisted that he was fine.

MMMM

Sleep was difficult. Aramis knew the reason why. He had talked, he had told d’Artagnan everything. It had been difficult, it had taken him some time. But he had felt better for talking. He had thought, afterwards, that things could go back to normal. He had been fooling himself. 

The first night he had spent back in his rooms had been the hardest. He was alone, he had told d’Artagnan not to risk visiting him. He had not slept at all. He had sat, gun in hand, the whole night staring at the door. The door that the Red Guard had kicked in before they had taken him and his nightmare had begun. 

The first night d’Artagnan had stayed had been equally difficult. Feigning tiredness he had pretended to be asleep. D’Artagnan had simply lain next to him in the bed. His lover had not even touched him. Perhaps d’Artagnan had not wanted to take the risk either. Although the very fact that he was there would have been enough for the accusation to have been proven.

He had slept, eventually, enough for him to get by. Enough for the others to not notice. 

What Aramis was not willing to share with his lover or his friends or Treville was that he was scared. He was terrified. Every time he closed his eyes he was back there. Back in hell. 

Every noise meant the Red Guard were coming for him again. Every man who stared at him was an interrogator. 

He could not tell the others how weak he was. He could not tell them he was in fear, every second of the day. 

MMMM

The cocky cadet was going to get what he deserved, thought d’Artagnan, as they made their salutations before beginning to spar. The young man had been bragging to the other cadets that he was a better swordsman than any Musketeer. D’Artagnan had overheard and challenged him to a sparring match. 

The man, Duval, had looked a little shocked for a few seconds before bravado took over. D’Artagnan had smiled to himself. He would show the man who was better.

They started slowly. D’Artagnan allowed Duval to get the upper hand a few times, he wanted to work out the man’s moves and limitations before he fought back. The trainee did not realise what d’Artagnan was doing and started to make elaborate moves. The man was showing off for his friends. 

D’Artagnan glanced around and realised that they had quite an audience. Pretty much everyone in the garrison yard was watching them. Evan Aramis had stepped out of the armoury to watch. 

Aramis had spent most of his time since he started working again in the armoury. He had inventoried every weapon. He had cleaned and serviced them all. The quiet methodical work seemed to have helped Aramis. Although he still seemed distant when they were together. 

But at that moment Aramis appeared to be enjoying the spectacle of the fight. D’Artagnan took it as an encouraging sign. Aramis enjoying something seemed like a step further towards his full recovery. 

With gusto, d’Artagnan went on the offensive. His sword strokes were crushing, he pushed Duval back several steps. D’Artagnan was pleased to see the man’s smug expression turn to one of alarm. But still, d’Artagnan continued. He wanted to beat the man into submission. He wanted to show the man who was better. He wanted to…

‘That’s enough!’ yelled Treville. 

D’Artagnan stopped, his sword mid-swing. He had not realised Duval had fallen to the floor. D’Artagnan was surprised at the position he had stopped in, he was standing over the now scared looking cadet and his sword was poised above the younger man’s body. If Treville had not yelled at him he was not sure he would have stopped in time to prevent the man from being hit. 

Duval was panting hard. D’Artagnan realised he was as well. He stepped back a few paces before turning and walking away. Treville grabbed him by the arm and led him up the steps to his office. 

D’Artagnan was aware of Aramis watching them go. 

As Treville shut the door to his office d’Artagnan watched him, unsure why he was there. 

‘What was that?’ asked the Captain pointing back towards the courtyard.

D’Artagnan did not respond.

‘You nearly killed the man. It was obvious that you had won. You were the superior swordsman, but you kept going. The other men were yelling at you to stop. Duval looked terrified. He’s a child, he was showing off, you taught him the lesson he needed...why didn’t you stop?’

D’Artagnan looked at the floor. He did not want to answer.

‘D’Artagnan,’ said Treville, his voice calm again, ‘I know what you went through with Aramis was difficult. It was difficult for us all. But we got him back...I know it’s taking him a bit of time to fully recover. I would be worried if he was not quiet and a bit nervous still. But you cannot take your frustrations at the situation out on other people.’

D’Artagnan looked up, ‘I’m sorry, sir, it won’t happen again.’

‘I think it’s too late for apologies d’Artagnan...Constance came to see me earlier.’

D’Artagnan could not hide his surprise.

‘She asked if you were alright,’ Treville paused, it looked as if he was unsure if he should continue, ‘she said that the last time you visited her...and spent the night...she said that you were...a little rough with her.’

D’Artagnan shifted awkwardly. He could feel himself redden with embarrassment. He had realised, whilst he was with Constance that he was, perhaps being a little more firm than he usually was. But she had not reacted or said anything. Now he realised why. She was worried about him. 

‘Son,’ said Treville stepping closer to him, ‘I need you to take a step back. I need you to calm down. We got him back. He’s safe. He’s down there now, counting muskets and sharpening swords.’

Treville sighed, ‘I wish I hadn’t sent Athos and Porthos off on that assignment. I should have thought, the four of you need to be together.’

‘I’m sorry sir,’ said d’Artagnan again, ‘I’m just finding it a bit difficult. I’m so angry about what happened. I shouldn’t have let that anger spill out just then.’

Treville nodded, ‘I know,’ he paused for a moment before continuing, ‘now, perhaps you could take Aramis out of the city for a few days. Some fresh air and a chance to get away from reminders of his captivity would probably help him...And it would do you good as well. I’ve had intelligence of a small group of robbers on one of the roads out of the city. Take Aramis and check the road. If it isn’t something you can deal with between you come back for reinforcements.’

D’Artagnan nodded slowly, ‘thank you, Captain.’

MMMM

When d’Artagnan had told him they had been given an assignment he had been surprised. Surprised that Treville was allowing him out so soon. It had not been very long since he had been bed bound. And now he was being sent out of the city. Out of the garrison. 

He had realised as d’Artagnan had been telling him about their assignment that the armoury and the infirmary were the only places he felt safe. He had spent several weeks in the infirmary and now had closeted himself off in the armoury. The Red Guard could not get him there. He was safe within the confines of the garrison and safer in the armoury. 

He knew it was all in his mind, that he did not really have anything to worry about. But the nagging feeling that he was being watched continued. 

And now Treville and d’Artagnan wanted him to leave the garrison. The only good part of the assignment was that it also meant leaving Paris, where there seemed to be Red Guard on every corner. 

Perhaps some time away from the city was a good idea. 

They were on the road within the hour. 

MMMM

They had ridden for a few hours and seen no sign of any robbers. D’Artagnan was pleased, he did not really want to find any trouble. He just wanted to spend the time with Aramis. Spend time with his lover outside, without the worry of persecution. There was no one about. 

He slowed his horse as a stream came into view. Aramis followed him toward the water, dismounting as he brought his horse to a stop. After leading the mare the rest of the way Aramis released her reins and stood back. 

D’Artagnan watched Aramis for a few seconds. His lover looked around carefully, his keen marksman’s gaze taking in their surroundings. D’Artagnan wondered what Aramis was looking for so intently.

They let the horses drink their fill as they settled by the stream, leaning against a fallen tree. D’Artagnan handed Aramis a hunk of bread.

‘Thank you,’ he said, ‘how long are we supposed to spend looking for these fictitious robbers?’

D’Artagnan was a little taken aback by the remark. 

‘I know this, trip out of the city is something that you and Treville cooked up. You want to ease me back into work. You really don’t need to worry about me. I’m - ‘

‘Don’t finish that sentence, Aramis,’ said d’Artagnan with a smile.

‘Sorry,’ replied his lover looking away.

They ate in silence for a few minutes.

‘And they’re not fictitious,’ said d’Artagnan with a smile as they finished eating.

‘Oh.’

D’Artagnan raised his eyebrows. He reached out and took Aramis’ hand in his. As he pulled the hand back to rest on his lap he found Aramis resisting. His lover gently pulled his hand away. He rose and walked back towards the horses. D’Artagnan found the move strange. Aramis looked around again, before mounting his horse.

‘Shall we?’ he said, as if nothing had happened.

D’Artagnan wondered if Aramis was perhaps tired. Their day had already been a long one, and he was only just back to full duty hours. D’Artagnan decided not to make an issue out of Aramis’ behaviour. At least not yet. 

MMMM

Aramis had thought the trip out would be a good idea. But now he was not so sure. They were exposed. He knew that d’Artagnan had wanted to touch him, to hold him as soon as they had stopped. When the younger man had sat next to him, a little closer than necessary Aramis had been on his guard. Although he had not seen anyone around. They were in a wooded area. There was the potential for someone to be watching that he had not seen.

When d’Artagnan had taken his hand, Aramis knew he had to get away.

He was not going to be caught again. 

MMMM 

As the tavern came into view both men were relieved. D’Artagnan was starting to think they would have to camp and he did not fancy the prospect. The nights were starting to draw in and although they were equipped, a proper bed would be more welcome. There was also the chance to share a room with Aramis. 

Out in the open, there was always the chance of passers-by finding them. D’Artagnan knew that Aramis would want the security of a room. His lover’s reluctance to even touch him had played on d’Artagnan’s mind. He decided that perhaps Aramis was just being overly cautious. Which was understandable, d’Artagnan thought.

A small stable stood at the side of the old building. They led the horses in and after ensuring they were settled the two Musketeers entered the tavern. 

A fire crackled in a large hearth. A few tables and chairs stood empty around the room. 

‘Hello,’ called d’Artagnan when it became apparent that no one was coming to greet them. 

He stepped further into the room. A large dog was lying sprawled in front of the fire. It looked up at them briefly before allowing its head to flop back down again.

‘You’re not very effective are you,’ said d’Artagnan with a smile to the uninterested hound. 

He looked around as a shuffling sound grew closer. 

‘Hello there,’ said an old man as he appeared in the doorway of the next room, ‘sorry I didn’t see you arrive...we really don’t get many people staying here anymore.’

D’Artagnan stepped forward, ‘we need a room for the night, if you can manage that.’

The man looked at him blankly for a few seconds before saying, ‘I’m sorry son, but I’m practically deaf, you’re going to have to speak up.’

‘A room, please,’ said d’Artagnan a little louder.

The old man shook his head.

‘Sorry, try again.’

‘A ROOM, PLEASE,’ shouted d’Artagnan after taking another step closer to the man.

‘Of course,’ said the man with a nod and a smile, ‘we only have one room available. There’s really no call for more. No one ever stops here now.’

The man paused and looked at them both, taking in their pauldrons.

‘But sharing a room won’t be a problem for you two.’

D’Artagnan was aware of Aramis, who had been looking out of the window turning quickly to look back at them.

‘You being soldiers, I bet you’re used to roughing it out in the open. Sharing one bed is better than a cold rocky floor any day, I’ll bet.’

Aramis sighed, d’Artagnan wondered what had worried his lover. It was not as if they would not share a bed even if there were two rooms available for them.

‘My wife has a stew cooking, there’ll be enough for you two boys, we don’t eat much these days and she still cooks enough to feed a small army.’

‘Thank you,’ said d’Artagnan, before repeating the words louder.

The old man nodded and wandered off after vaguely pointing at a table by the window where Aramis was standing. 

D’Artagnan pulled out a chair and sat down. After another look out of the window, Aramis sat opposite him. 

‘I wonder if the wife is as deaf as her husband,’ asked d’Artagnan with a grin.

Aramis looked across to the door the old man had disappeared into.

‘How long is Treville expecting us to be away for?’

‘Why?’

‘There’s no robbers, we should head back to Paris in the morning.’

‘Aramis, this assignment is as much about getting you out and about as it is finding the robbers.’

‘Sorry,’ replied Aramis looking down. 

D’Artagnan reached across the table and was about to take Aramis’ hand when a noise from the back of the tavern caused Aramis to lean back, away from d’Artagnan. 

D’Artagnan was about to ask Aramis what the problem was when an old woman entered carrying a tray. Aramis rose from the table and relieved the woman of the tray. 

‘Thank you, my dear,’ she said, ‘I’ve popped a jug of wine on there for you as well. Now, the room is at the top of the stairs, the second door. We both sleep down here these days. I only go up there to air the room.’

She turned to go before pausing and turning back, ‘when you’re finished just leave the tray there, I’ll collect it later. If you need me or my husband it’s easier to just come through, we’re both quite deaf.’

She smiled before wandering off through the door. 

‘I guess that answers that then,’ said d’Artagnan.

Aramis lay the tray down on the table between them and busied himself removing the plates and drinks. D’Artagnan watched him. His lover still looked tired. But d’Artagnan suspected he could wake the man up a little when they retired to bed after their meal.

They ate in silence, d’Artagnan, lost in thought about what he wanted to do with Aramis that night. 

‘Sorry, I’m going to turn in,’ said Aramis as he pushed his plate away a little, ‘it’s been a long day, and we have imaginary robbers to catch tomorrow.’

Without another word, Aramis walked from the room. D’Artagnan could hear him climbing the stairs and entering the room they were to share.

He sighed as he quickly finished his own meal. He did not want to leave his lover waiting too long for him.


	2. Chapter 2

Aramis closed the door, he realised there was no lock, which was not unusual for the rural taverns. Even though the tavern keeper knew they would be sharing the bed Aramis felt it would be wrong. What if someone turned up? Someone could accidentally come into the room and find them. Aramis was being ridiculous, and he knew it. They were in the middle of nowhere, the tavern keeper and his wife did not suspect them in the slightest. 

He looked at the bed, it was pushed up against the wall. The way the door opened they would be seen as soon as someone entered the room. 

There was no lock on the door. 

Slowly he peeled off his clothes. He knew it would seem odd if he climbed into bed clothed. He stripped off as far as his underclothes. He was not going to encourage d’Artagnan by sleeping naked. 

As he pulled the blankets over him he heard the stairs creak. Knowing it had to be d’Artagnan, Aramis quickly lay down on his side, facing the wall, facing away from the door. He settled his breathing and pretended to already be asleep. If he was asleep d’Artagnan would not try to disturb him. 

The door opened, Aramis heard d’Artagnan pause. He imagined his lover looking in his direction, perhaps he would be surprised that he was already asleep. With luck d’Artagnan would just accept that he was tired, it was his first mission since returning to full duty after all. 

Aramis could hear d’Artagnan moving around, his weapons belt was taken off and hooked over the chair, his doublet followed. The edge of the bed sank as d’Artagnan sat to remove his boots. All too soon the blankets were lifted and Aramis felt d’Artagnan climb into the bed, settling behind him. Aramis hoped that d’Artagnan would just settle himself and perhaps they could just both sleep. Although Aramis knew that sleep would be difficult, and would probably evade him. 

But no, d’Artagnan shifted to lie directly behind him, curling around him. D’Artagnan had stripped off completely. Aramis knew his lover expected them to do something of an intimate nature. Aramis had to try hard not to react. They could not do anything. 

There was no lock on the door. 

They were not alone. 

The tavern keepers might have been deaf, but they were not blind, if they were to walk in and catch them together...they would be reported. The authorities would have them arrested. He would be taken back there. He would be back in that room. 

Aramis found that his breathing had sped up, he made an effort to slow it. He could not let d’Artagnan know he was awake. He did not want to encourage his lover. 

D’Artagnan had snaked his arm around him. He initially lay the arm over Aramis’ chest. Aramis hoped that would be the extent of the night's intimacy. Perhaps d’Artagnan would fall asleep.

There was no lock on the door. 

Were the tavern keep and his wife light sleepers? Aramis had to remind himself that the elderly couple were deaf. They would have no reason to enter the room.

D’Artagnan slowly trailed his hand down Aramis chest towards his underclothes. Aramis found his breathing increasing a little. He tried to remain calm. 

They would be caught. He would be taken back there. 

The wandering hand reached Aramis underclothes, d’Artagnan rubbed across Aramis groin. Aramis had to say something, had to stop his lover from putting them in danger. 

‘Someone will hear us,’ he said quietly.

The hand on him paused for a few seconds before resuming its movement. 

‘They’re old and deaf, they won’t hear, we could fire a gun and they wouldn’t know,’ replied d’Artagnan as he pushed himself closer to Aramis. 

Aramis could tell that d’Artagnan was aroused, his lover was expecting them to do...something together. 

There was no lock on the door. They would be found. 

D’Artagnan’s dexterous fingers found the ties on Aramis’ underclothes and began to pull them. 

‘There’s no lock on the door,’ said Aramis.

D’Artagnan did not respond immediately, he continued to pull on the ties of Aramis’ underclothes and push himself even closer to him.

‘Don’t worry, I put the chair under the handle. Stop worrying, they won’t come in.’

The Red Guard had kicked the door in. The Red Guard would not let a chair under a door handle stop them. 

D’Artagnan was kissing and nuzzling at the back of Aramis’ neck, trying to get him to react, trying to get him to turn over. Aramis could not move. The more d’Artagnan pushed into him, rubbed against him, touched him, the more scared Aramis became. 

There was no lock on the door. They would come. They would take him back. 

D’Artagnan was starting to push his hand inside Aramis’ underclothes. Aramis was almost panting now, his breaths short.

Aramis had to stop this, for both their sakes. He might not be able to hold out for d’Artagnan again, he might talk. He might give him up.

‘Stop, please,’ he said.

D’Artagnan stilled his hand. 

‘We can’t, we’ll be heard...they’ll come…’

Aramis realised he had whispered the words. D’Artagnan remained still behind him for a few seconds. Aramis could not move, although he thought he might have been shaking. 

D’Artagnan moved away, releasing him. A few seconds later Aramis was aware of his lover getting out of the bed. He heard movement around the room for a couple of minutes before the door opened and closed. 

Aramis remained where he was. If he kept still they might think he was asleep and not drag him away again.

MMMM

After finishing his meal d’Artagnan had walked up to their room. He opened the door and paused. Aramis was already in bed, lying on his side, facing away from the door. He had not reacted to d’Artagnan’s entrance. 

Perhaps his lover was already asleep. He had been a little quiet and odd all day. The incident when they had watered the horses was not the only thing that had made d’Artagnan wonder if Aramis was not really ready to be back on full duties. It was obvious he was not sleeping well. But as Treville had said, getting him out of the city for a couple of days would probably be good for him. Fresh air, and no Red Guard on every corner would help Aramis to settle down, perhaps he would even relax. Although d’Artagnan did not want his lover to relax completely.

He quickly stripped off, as he was about to get into bed he remembered the lack of a lock on the door. He quietly moved the chair so that it was under the handle. The door could still be opened, but only an inch or two. Certainly not enough for anyone to see what the two of them were getting up to. 

And d’Artagnan was determined that they would be getting up to something. He wanted to give Aramis pleasure, wanted to thank him, properly, for what he had done for him. 

He slipped in behind Aramis, surprised to find his lover was not naked, they usually both slept naked. D’Artagnan moved across the bed to lie behind his lover, moulding his body to Aramis’. Aramis did not react to the move. D’Artagnan was convinced the man was awake, he had not been in bed long enough to have fallen asleep. 

D’Artagnan slipped his hand around Aramis, initially resting it on his lover’s chest before slowly moving it down towards Aramis groin. Aramis breathing had sped up, d’Artagnan smiled, his lover was enjoying the attention. 

D’Artagnan rubbed his hand across Aramis underclothes, he was a little surprised to find that Aramis had not reacted. His lover was showing no signs of arousal. D’Artagnan was aroused, he was not sure how long he could wait for Aramis. 

‘Someone will hear us,’ whispered Aramis. 

D’Artagnan detected a slight shake in his lover's voice. Excitement perhaps?

‘They’re old and deaf, they won’t hear, we could fire a gun and they wouldn’t know,’ he replied as he pushed himself closer to Aramis. 

Aramis remained still, remained quiet. D’Artagnan found the ties to the underclothes and began to pull at them, he needed to get at his lover, needed to sate his appetite. Aramis wanted the attention, d’Artagnan knew he did. 

‘There’s no lock on the door,’ said Aramis, as quietly as before.

D’Artagnan continued to pull at the ties for a few seconds. He guessed the worry about the lock was understandable.

‘Don’t worry, I put the chair under the handle. Stop worrying, they won’t come in.’

The ties undone, d’Artagnan paused. He kissed that back of Aramis’ neck and pushed into him a little more. He wanted Aramis to turn over, wanted to kiss him properly. They had not kissed properly since before his lover was taken. But Aramis did not move. His breathing was faster. D’Artagnan began to push his hand inside Aramis’ underclothes.

When Aramis spoke again there was a tone to his voice that d’Artagnan had never heard before. Fear.

‘Stop, please.’

D’Artagnan stopped. 

‘We can’t, we’ll be heard...they’ll come…’

A wave of thoughts washed over d’Artagnan. Aramis remained still, but he was not still, he was shaking. Aramis was shaking with fear. Was Aramis scared of him? No, Aramis was scared they would be caught, together, sharing a bed. D’Artagnan realised he had been a fool. Of course the man would be scared. Just a few short weeks ago Aramis had been tortured and hurt because of what they were. His lover had been beaten until he was so weak he could not walk unaided. 

The ‘they’ his lover had referred to were not the tavern keeper and his wife. The ‘they’ were the Red Guard and his interrogators. 

Why was he surprised his lover was reluctant to be with him? Why had he not thought?

D’Artagnan realised, with horror, that if Aramis had not said anything had not begged him to stop he would have tried to force him. D’Artagnan was about to force Aramis to do something he really did not want to do. 

He had been about to assault his lover. 

No, not assault his lover, he would not do that, but he had been trying to get Aramis to do something he was clearly uncomfortable with. Why else would the man have remained still? He had protested, come up with reasons that they should stop. D’Artagnan should have realised how scared his lover was.

He felt awful for what he had done, what he was about to do. 

Aramis had been through an extremely traumatic time. And most of what Aramis had endured was in order to keep him safe. Aramis had been prepared to die to keep him safe. 

And here he was trying to instigate some intimate contact. No, d’Artagnan thought, he had wanted more than that, he had wanted to have sex with Aramis. 

D’Artagnan felt ashamed of his behaviour. He could not stay where he was. He got out of the bed and quickly went about dressing. Aramis had not moved from the spot. D’Artagnan did not know what to do. He did not think Aramis would want him to try to comfort him. D’Artagnan had to leave. 

He quietly removed the chair from the door and left. Left his scared lover on his own. D’Artagnan did not know what else to do. 

MMMM

Aramis remained where he was. He did not think he could move. D’Artagnan had left the room. Perhaps he would never return? Had he driven his lover away? Was his inability to do what d’Artagnan had clearly wanted to do going to be the end of their relationship?

He felt pathetic. He had been assaulted before, he had been tortured before, he had been on the brink of death before. What he felt was ridiculous, he knew that. The Red Guard were not going to come to this particular lonely tavern and take him back to the Chatelet. 

And yet, he could not get the idea out of his head. D’Artagnan was gone because he could not accept that it was over, that he had been freed from the Chatelet. He knew the rumour would follow him forever but that was all it was now; a rumour. As long as they were careful there was no reason they could not go back to enjoying their relationship.

But they could not. The Red Guard would come and take him again.

The thoughts continued to circle in Aramis’ head as he stayed still, pretending to be asleep, even though he was alone. 

MMMM

He guessed he had slept a little during the remainder of the night, but Aramis knew it had not been much. D’Artagnan had not returned. As he dressed he wondered where his lover, or perhaps former lover, had gone. 

When he found out he was a little surprised. 

‘He’s gone, left about twenty minutes ago,’ said the old man when Aramis had finally got him to understand his question.

Aramis looked toward the door.

‘He looked tired, like he hadn’t slept. I hope the room was alright?’

‘IT WAS FINE,’ shouted Aramis as he dropped a few coins into the man’s hand.

Not wishing to answer any questions from the man, Aramis bid him good day and left quickly. He checked the tack on his horse and mounted up. He did not know where d’Artagnan might have gone. They were still supposed to be looking for the made-up robbers. Perhaps the younger man was carrying out his assignment. Aramis kicked the horse into a canter and continued along the road in the direction they had been travelling the day before. 

He was not sure what he would say to d’Artagnan when he caught up with him. Would his lover be angry with him? He doubted that. D’Artagnan probably just did not know how to deal with him. Aramis was not sure how to deal with himself. He wondered if the fear he felt would fade? Would he ever be able to fully relax again?

A noise ahead of him broke his train of thought. A clashing of swords. Kicking the horse into a gallop he readied himself for whatever he would find around the bend in the road. 

Somehow, he had known it would be d’Artagnan. The Musketeer was fighting the robbers who turned out not to be as fictitious as Aramis had believed them to be. He slowed his horse and drew his gun. 

Three men were attacking his lover. D’Artagnan was clearly starting to struggle. Two men would not have caused the Musketeer too much of a problem but three was hard work for any man to deal with. His gun lay discarded on the floor, the body of a fourth man lay sprawled a few yards from the fighting men, blood pooling underneath him. 

Aramis fired his gun instinctively, a burly, thick-set man staggered back a few paces before crumpling to the ground. The gunshot distracted the fatigued d’Artagnan enough for one of the two remaining men to slice his sword across his right arm. Weakened by the injury and the fight d’Artagnan’s sword swings became less effective. 

The man took advantage. Although he did not have much time to take the advantage as he found himself bleeding from the throat. The second man barely had time to register what had happened before he was clutching at Aramis’ main gauche as it was pulled from his chest. 

Aramis paid the men no more attention. D’Artagnan was his only concern. The injured man had stumbled back a couple of paces, his sword held loosely in his hand. He looked at Aramis for a few seconds before he crumpled. 

Aramis grabbed him and gently guided him down to the ground. The man was blinking, trying to remain conscious. He managed to focus on Aramis, he stared at him for a few seconds before trying to pull away. 

‘Even if we never speak again, I am going to tend to that injury, d’Artagnan, you are going to let me clean it and stitch it.’

D’Artagnan was panting, as Aramis looked at the wound on his arm, it was deep and bleeding freely. He grabbed d’Artagnan’s left hand and pressed it against the wound.

‘Put pressure there. I’ll clean and stitch it in a minute, once I’ve got you more comfortable.’

D’Artagnan did as he was told. He was not making eye contact with Aramis any longer. As Aramis returned to his horse he wondered why his lover had been reluctant to allow him to touch him and deal with the injury. The man was clearly in shock, but he also looked ashamed.

Aramis looked around. A tree a few yards from them would do for him to lean the injured man against. 

‘Let’s get you over there,’ said Aramis as he helped d’Artagnan to stand, ‘why are you so reluctant to let me touch you?’

D’Artagnan looked away before replying quietly, ‘last night, you...I…’

Aramis sighed, ‘I’m sorry.’

D’Artagnan allowed Aramis to sit him down, leaning him against the tree. Aramis undid d’Artagnan’s doublet and eased the injured arm out of the sleeve. 

‘What are you sorry about?’ asked d’Artagnan.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I’m scared. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I’m afraid of every sound, every creek on the stair terrifies me. I’m sorry that I am convinced the door will be kicked in at any moment and I will be grabbed and pushed to the floor. I’m sorry...I don’t want to go back there...I don’t want to be...there...again. I’m sorry that I am still scared of being caught.’

When Aramis had finished speaking he realised he had looked away and had bowed his head. He looked back at d’Artagnan who had tears in his eyes.

‘I nearly assaulted you, I was as bad as the men who...who raped us, I tried to force you. I didn’t listen to you…’

‘No, d’Artagnan, I wasn’t clear, I’ve been hiding it from you. You weren’t to know what’s going on in my head. I’m sorry...you would never hurt me, I know that.’

Aramis was shocked that his lover had considered what he had done the previous night was akin to the men who had raped them both. It was no wonder d’Artagnan did not want Aramis near him, he must have been confused. Why would Aramis have wanted to be near a man who had assaulted him?

He unconsciously looked around, they were alone, there would be no witnesses. Aramis reached up and brushed the tears from d’Artagnan’s cheek.

‘I don’t want to go back there, what if they break me? What if I give you up? What if I get you killed because I can’t keep quiet? I don’t think I could do it again. They hurt me...they were going to keep hurting me…’

D’Artagnan did not respond for a few seconds.

‘Do you feel better now? Now that you’ve said it out loud?’ he asked, ‘I should have realised you needed more time to get over what happened. I shouldn’t have tried to push you…’

‘Don’t apologise again,’ said Aramis with a slight smile, ‘yes, perhaps you should have realised, but I could have said something...I just feel so pathetic...for being scared.’

MMMM

‘You are not pathetic, Aramis,’ said d’Artagnan, looking Aramis in the eyes, ‘you held on, you didn’t give up or give me up...I can never thank you enough for that.’

Aramis managed a small smile, ‘when they took me, the first and the only thing I thought about was that I was not going to give you up. I set myself a task. I told myself that all I had to do...until they killed me...was not give you up. I was convinced I was going to die.’

D’Artagnan looked away again. Aramis gently took his left hand off the wound and went about cleaning it in preparation for stitching.

‘I’ll wait,’ said d’Artagnan after a few moments.

‘For what?’ asked Aramis, confused.

D’Artagnan looked back, ‘for you. We don’t have to do anything together until you feel safe again. I would hate you to be uncomfortable and only be with me because you feel you have to.’

Aramis was quiet for a few seconds as he threaded the needle. He refocused on d’Artagnan.

‘Thank you.’

D’Artagnan nodded before taking the piece of leather Aramis passed to him and biting down on it as his lover began to stitch the wound. 

MMMM

Aramis had been unable to help a chuckle as the young man only lasted three stitches, before he passed out. A mixture of shock and fatigue as well as the pain, decided Aramis.

He manoeuvred the unconscious man to lie down after he had wrapped a bandage around the wound. 

Aramis looked around. The road was quiet, no one had passed them in the time it had taken Aramis to deal with his lover's injury. He went about moving the bodies of the four robbers to the side of the road and walked both of their horses out of the road and tied them to a low branch of a nearby tree. 

He returned to d’Artagnan’s side and settled down to wait for him to wake up. He looked around again, he realised it had become a habit for him to be constantly wary of his surroundings. As a soldier, he was trained to be observant, but he knew he was overdoing it. He knew it would take him some time to get over the constant worry that he would be arrested again. But, he also knew that now he had confessed to d’Artagnan, the man would understand his reticence to take part in any intimate activity between the two of them.

Knowing that d’Artagnan would wait for him, made him happy. He had thought that their relationship was over when the man had left him the night before. Now Aramis understood that d’Artagnan had been worried that he was forcing himself on him, not annoyed that Aramis did not want sex.

D’Artagnan stirred, opening his eyes slowly. He looked a little confused for a few seconds before smiling. 

‘Hello,’ he said with a slight slur, ‘how many?’

‘Three before you passed out, ten in total.’

Aramis helped him to sit up slowly and gave him the water skin watching to make sure he drank enough.

‘I’m rubbish, Athos lasts much longer,’ said d’Artagnan as he leaned back against the tree. 

Aramis chuckled, ‘he’s had a fair few more stitches than you have,’ he paused looking around again.

D’Artagnan said quietly, ‘we’re alone, no one is here. And we’re not doing anything, are we.’

Aramis looked back at him with a smile, ‘sorry, it’s just become such a habit. I’ll get there.’

‘I know. Take your time. I’ll be here when you want me to be, either to talk to or other stuff.’

Aramis nodded, he glanced around again before slipping his hand into d’Artagnan’s and closing his fingers around his lovers. He had already known it would take him a while to fully recover, but knowing his lover would be there for him and was prepared to wait for him was a reassurance he found endearing. 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m working on the next part. More dark and nasty stuff. I’m horrible.


End file.
